


Control

by DemonofPhantomhive



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Poor O!Ciel, Slight Comfort, brief mention of the r!ciel sacrifice, i honestly don’t know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 17:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonofPhantomhive/pseuds/DemonofPhantomhive
Summary: Control was something out of the young Earl Phantomhive's reach. It seemed like one of those fairytales that were read to him as a child, entirely make-believe. He felt like he was holding on by a frayed thread that at any moment would snap completely.





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> Hello it is I back at it again with another vent oneshot! These oneshots have really been helping me a lot when I am having a bad mental health day it feels good to just get everything out!
> 
> In this I did put a lot of myself in this story especially when writing for Ciel!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this! 
> 
> Feedback, comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!!

Control was something out of the young Earl Phantomhive's reach. It seemed like one of those fairytales that were read to him as a child, entirely make-believe. He felt like he was holding on by a frayed thread that at any moment would snap completely. He felt like a prisoner in his own head all the voices screaming vulgarities at him and telling him how it should have been him that had the blade shoved through his chest to summon Sebastian. He was the weak child, the spare the one no one would miss should something happen to him. 

That fact he knew and was proven when he came back assuming the role of his brother. Everyone was so happy that his brother was the one who survived he was an afterthought in their minds if he was even on them at all. He knew that this wasn't true he knew that he was loved and that there were people who cared about him, but the voices are so loud and any rational thought got buried by the vile thoughts. He so desperately wanted to rid himself of these thoughts to finally be able to look at himself and see someone worthy of the love and affection he was given, though it was meant for his brother and not him. 

He put on a stoic facade, hoping that no one would see through the cracks and see how truly broken he really was, but behind closed doors that mask came off and there was no stopping the tears. His throat burned with screams that begged to be released, his hands made their way to his hair, grabbing a fist full of the slate-grey locks in each, giving a harsh tug. He felt like he was drowning and nobody could save him no matter what they tried he felt like he was sinking further under the surface. 

Sebastian came into the room to see his master on the floor in a fit of tears. The sight was nothing new to the demon, the boy had a large weight on his shoulders that was slowly crushing him. The demon walked over to the boy, kneeling down beside him, wrapping his arms around the boy's fragile body and started giving him what little comfort he could offer while he’s in this state.

The boy would bury his face into the demon's chest and the screams he so desperately tried to hold back ripped their way from his throat he crumbled in the demon’s embrace. 

Sebastian carded his fingers through the boy's hair, whispering words of comfort to him. He watched as his master cried until he eventually fell into a restless sleep. He carried the young earl to his bed, tucking him in he stood there by his bed knowing he wouldn't want to wake up alone in this state so that’s where he stayed by his master's side as he slept.

**Author's Note:**

> Another thank you to @secretly-a-wuss for being my beta!


End file.
